Many -- even most -- women have mixed feelings when they find out they are pregnant. They may wonder if they are ready and willing to accept all that comes with bringing up a child. The most important thing to do during this initial period is to keep it in perspective and realize you have choices. Every woman does. You can raise the baby yourself. You can give birth and then place the baby for adoption, with the family of your choice, or you can have an abortion.

Talk with your doctor and with others that you trust, such as your partner, a friend or a parent.

The better the support system you have, the easier it will be for you to raise a child.

Think about whether you are prepared for the long-term commitment. Raising a child can be stressful.

Adoption
If you cannot raise a child but do not want to have an abortion, adoption may be a good option. In an adoption, a child legally gets new parents.

If you choose adoption, prenatal care is as vital as if you were going to raise the child yourself.

You may have a mixture of feelings when the baby is adopted — anger, grief, a sense of loss, or relief. These feelings may last for a long time.

The Process
Shortly after the baby is born, the birth mother (the woman who gives birth to the baby) signs papers that end her rights to the child and gives her consent to the adoption. If the baby's birth father is known and he admits to being the father, he also signs consent forms.

Types of Adoption
There are two kinds of adoptions — open and closed. In open adoption, the birth mother and the adoptive parents know something about each other. In a closed adoption, the birth mother and adoptive parents do not meet or know each others' names. Sometimes in a closed adoption, the files can be opened later. The laws in each state differ.

In independent adoptions, babies are placed in the adoptive parents' home without an agency. Independent adoptions are legal in most states.

Financial Help
If you arrange an adoption through an agency, ask the agency what kind of financial help — it offers.

Most, if not all, states allow the adopting parents to pay the birth mother's legal and medical fees.

Abortion
Abortion means ending the pregnancy by removing the developing embryo or fetus from a woman's uterus. Most abortions are done in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.

The decision to have an abortion needs to be made as early as possible. The type of procedure used and some of the risks involved depend on how long you have been pregnant.

The Procedure
Induced abortion can be done in several ways. Some abortion procedures are done by surgery. Some are done with medication. The type of abortion you have depends on your choice, your health and how long you have been pregnant.

Risks and Complications
Risks and complications of abortions relate to how long the woman has been pregnant. The earlier a woman has an abortion, the safer it is.

Follow-up Care
You should have a follow-up visit after the abortion to make sure that you are healing as you should. You also should discuss family planning options.

You may have feelings of guilt, regret, loss or anger. You may feel relieved. All of these feelings are normal.

Changing Your Mind
If you were going to have and raise the child and then decide against it, you still can think about adoption. You can begin adoption procedures after birth. This is true even if you did not make this choice before the baby was born.

Finally …
The decision to give birth and raise the child, give birth and place the child for adoption, or have an abortion may be very hard for you to make. The sooner you seek advice and help, the better.

This excerpt from ACOG's Patient Education Pamphlet is provided for your information. It is not medical advice and should not be relied upon as a substitute for visiting your doctor. If you need medical care, have any questions, or wish to receive the full text of this Patient Education Pamphlet, please contact your obstetrician-gynecologist.

Options Magazine » What Next Articles

Pregnancy Choices: Parenting, Adoption and Abortion