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He Said, She Said

“Remember that in this situation, there are no
perfect solutions to your problems, only options...”

Focusing On Your Decision

With all of the decisions you are making about your pregnancy, do not lose sight of the two most important people involved: you and your baby. In the future, you will want to feel that you “own” the decision that you made and that it was the best choice for you.  You may want to write down your thoughts and feelings in a diary. Write everything: what you feel, see and hear, even things you are told. That includes the bad stuff—the negative thoughts and feelings you may not think are worth remembering. One day, you may wonder what influenced you to handle your pregnancy the way you did. If you can read about it in your diary, you will understand why you made those particular choices.

But I heard...
You will probably hear a lot of opinions from a lot of people. People you did not even think knew how to make babies may discuss how you should handle your pregnancy. Some may have good advice, while others may not. The best policy is to listen to what people have to say, then weigh it in your mind and see how it applies to you. Advice often comes with a lot of pressure behind it. Your family, your friends, and/or your baby’s father may differ in how they would like to see you handle your pregnancy. In some cases, they may be thinking more of themselves than of you. That’s why pressure doesn’t necessarily lead to the best decision. Even if the decision is a good one, you must be able to say to yourself, “I made the decision.” Otherwise you will leave room for regret down the road.

Changing my mind...
You should also feel free to change your mind if you need to. You may make a decision, try it on for size, and realize you do not like how it fits. So you rethink it—that is a normal process. Your friends and family may try to convince you that changing your mind is a sign that you are not ready to decide for yourself. Not so. Simply explain that you are only working your way closer to the right decision.

How can I be sure?
There is only one way to be sure you are making the best decision—think it out very carefully first. Consider all of the angles and how they will affect you. Then once you have tried a few options on for size and settled on one that fits best, follow through with it.

Finally, any option you consider will come with its own set of difficulties and challenges. Remember that in this situation, there are no perfect solutions to your problems, only options, and you must choose the option that you feel best meets the needs of your specific circumstance. Each option can give you an opportunity to grow, and to become stronger. This experience is now a part of who you will be in the future, so make the most of it. Remember that if you are kind to yourself and do your best, you can make a good decision for both you and your baby.

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