Options Magazine » Adoption Articles

Agency or Private Adoption

Which is right for you?

“Choosing one method of adoption over another depends mainly on the specific qualities that are important to the birth mother.
Countless childless couples await a child to love and raise as their own. A birth mother who chooses to create an adoption plan can participate in choosing a special couple for her child, both fulfilling their dreams and in turn providing her child with the opportunities she desires.

Adoption plans can be created in one of two ways: agency adoption or private adoption. Either one can create a plan that is right for you, because they both allow you to conduct an open, semi-open, or closed adoption plan. For more detail on these options, see the article in Options Magazine’s adoption section titled, “What’s Old and What’s New About Adoption Options?”

Choosing one method of adoption over another depends mainly on the specific qualities that are important to the birth mother. Here are some examples of how the two methods compare.

Agency Adoptions
As the name implies, agency adoptions are coordinated through adoption agencies licensed to place children. Such agencies can be found in the yellow pages of your local phone book under “Adoption Services” or “Abortion Alternatives” or by visiting us online at www.optionsmagazine.com. They are usually staffed by qualified and licensed counselors, many of whom have degrees in social work or psychology.

Waiting Lists and Criteria
Typically, agencies have waiting lists of prospective adoptive couples. These couples have already met the agency’s standards and are awaiting the arrival of an adoptable child.

The criteria agencies use to qualify couples with whom they will place children vary. Some common criteria include consideration of a couple’s age, the length of their marriage, or whether or not the couple already has children.

Home Studies
Almost all agencies require couples to complete a home study before being accepted into their program. Usually a licensed social worker or other qualified individual conducts these studies for the couple. Home studies are required before an adoption can be finalized and are intended to ensure that a prospective adoptive couple has a safe, secure, and adequate home environment in which to raise a child. A home study will evaluate the couple’s readiness to accept an adopted child into their home as well as their parenting skills, health, marital history, finances, stability of employment, and background checks into their integrity and suitability as parents.

Policies Affecting Birth Mothers
Many agencies also have policies that apply to the birth mother. It is important to understand these policies from the beginning so you can create an adoption plan that reflects your expectations. While all three types of adoption methods—open, semi-open, and closed—are available in agency adoptions, the level of openness is usually dictated by the birth mother.

Agencies may be affiliated with a particular religion and may place children only with couples of that religion.

Some agencies may require the birth mother to attend a specific number of counseling sessions before and after the child’s birth.
Agency policies may also determine the selection group from which you can choose an adoptive couple. Your choice will be either from all of the couples on an agency’s waiting list or from only a preselected group of couples based upon your preferences in religion, age, hobbies and interests.

Realizing that policies differ with each agency, write a list of each agency’s policies as you discuss questions. Then as you evaluate each agency, you can determine if its values are similar to your own and be assured that the adoption plan will meet your expectations.

Financial Help
Most adoption agencies can either provide or locate financial assistance for your medical expenses if you are uninsured or do not qualify for Medicaid. The agency may also be able to help with some living expenses, either fully or partially, depending on its financial ability and your state’s law regarding permissible expenses. If the agency’s financial assistance is limited, it can help you apply for public assistance to cover living expenses or medical care expenses. It is important to ask each agency specifically about its financial assistance policy (as well as when you will receive the aid) and what you will have to find from other sources.

Counseling and Support Groups
Most adoption agencies offer extensive counseling by licensed counselors who understand the feelings and processes each birth mother goes through when considering adoption. Most of them also extend counseling to birth fathers (and/or to the parents of the birth mother and birth father) to help all parties deal with their feelings regarding the creation of the adoption plan.

Agencies also often have birth mother support groups. Counselors can also help you create a plan to finish school, find a place to stay, or locate a physician. Most birth mothers find such counseling helpful and usually advise others considering adoption to take full advantage of any counseling offered.

In addition, the agency’s attorney will explain the legal process of adoption, the consent forms, and your legal rights. They will also perform all of the legal steps necessary to finalize her adoption plan. In short, a birth mother choosing to work with an agency will find an adoption structure prepared to carry out her adoption plan.

Private Adoption
The alternative to an agency adoption is called private adoption. Typically, private adoptions are conducted as either open or semi-open. Private adoptions are permitted in all except six states: Delaware, Connecticut, Michigan, Massachusetts, North Dakota, and Minnesota.

How Is It Different?
A private adoption differs from an agency adoption in that the birth mother and adoptive couple locate each other and work out the details of the adoption plan together without the assistance of an adoption agency. A private adoption attorney, who is usually already working with the couple, assists both parties in completing the adoption. Their attorney can educate you about the legal process of adoption, the consent forms, and your legal rights. However, if you prefer to have an independent attorney, most adoptive couples will provide one upon request.

The one thing that may be more limited in a private adoption is access to qualified counselors. Most attorneys do not employee licensed adoption counselors and adoptive families may try to handle this responsibility themselves in order to save money on their adoption. If counseling is important to the birth mother then agency adoptions are usually a better choice.

In short, choosing private adoption extends the amount of control and flexibility you have over the adoption plan. This allows you and the adoptive couple to make important decisions without the criteria or policies imposed by an agency.

Home Studies
As with agency adoption, most states require privately adopting couples to complete a home study. Although adoption agencies conduct these studies before placing couples on their waiting list, most privately-adopting couples usually do not begin their home study until after they have been selected to receive a child by a birth mother.

The problem with selecting a family that does not already have a completed home study is the lack of assurance that they are legally and emotionally ready to adopt a child. When selecting adoptive families birth mothers are cautioned to select families that already have a completed home study to ensure the safety of their baby.

How to Find a Couple?
If a birth mother decides to pursue a private adoption, she can find interested couples fairly easily by reading classified newspaper ads under “Personal” or “Adoption” headings, by reading ads in magazines like this one, and by looking at adoptive family profiles online at www.optionsmagazine.com. She can also find prospective adoptive couples through attorneys specializing in adoption by looking in the yellow pages under “Attorneys,” then under the sub heading “Adoption.” Most adoption attorneys are currently working with a number of prospective adoptive couples and will have several for her to consider. If you contact a private adoption attorney and select one of his or her couples, the attorney will contact the couple and enable both parties to visit by phone or in person.

If you decide to locate a couple on your own in the newspaper or in a magazine, you can telephone the couples who appeal to you. Either way, the couples will be friendly and sensitive. They will deeply appreciate being considered as prospective adoptive parents for your child.

Beyond Her First Contact
If you choose to pursue a private adoption, you may begin by contacting a few couples. When you have decided to proceed further with one or two couples, explain your personal needs and desires to these couples early so there will be a genuine understanding from the beginning about the level of openness you prefer.

If you have trouble deciding between prospective adoptive couples, some questions to ask yourself may include: Can they provide a solid, stable family life for my child? Are they happily married? Will they be able to meet the financial needs of raising a child? Your questions might even address traits or beliefs the different couples may have: Does this couple show musical ability? What is their religion? What are their hobbies? Does either of them physically resemble me?

Financial Help
The financial arrangements of a private adoption are usually limited by the restrictions of the birth mother’s state law and the financial capacity of the prospective adoptive couple.

In most cases, adoptive couples are prepared to cover all normal medical costs not covered by insurance, as well as legal expenses incurred in the adoption. They will usually also be willing to pay for any counseling you may elect to receive both during and after the pregnancy. Depending on your situation, you may also need maternity clothing or their assistance in finding living arrangements and/or in covering living expenses.

However, if you find a terrific couple who happen to be limited financially, do not let finances be your only criteria. Be sure that your needs are met and that you choose the best parents for your child.

Counseling and Support Groups
Receiving counseling before and after the birth of your baby is very important. Most prospective adoptive couples are happy to provide the birth mother with some counseling if it is specifically requested. Counseling is not required in private adoption so the amount you receive will ultimately be her own decision. However, most birth mothers agree that receiving counseling regarding adoption was one of the best decisions they ever made.

As in agency adoptions, a counselor can also help you create a plan to finish school, find a place to stay, locate a physician, or find a birth mother support group to attend.

Wrapping Up
If you investigate either type of adoption and then for any reason feel unable to follow through with it, you can discontinue the process at any time before signing the adoption paperwork.

If you do decide to create an adoption plan, carefully consider your own needs as well as your baby’s needs and then select the method of adoption—whether private or agency—that best suits you.

Who Else Can Help???
Prospective birth mothers can find out more about adoption by calling Options Magazine at 1-800-OPT-MAGS. We can send you information regarding the creation of an adoption plan plus referrals to pregnancy counseling centers, counselors, adoption agencies, private adoption attorneys, birth parent support groups, and related services.

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