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Why Birth Parents Create Adoption Plans

Their Decision, Their Feelings, Their Reasoning

Adoption Creates Relationships
Adoption creates a sort of three-way connection, often referred to as the adoption triangle: the child, the birth parents, and the adoptive parents. This triangle connects the lives of those involved, forming several symbiotic relationships. In this sense, adoption is built on a triangle of giving.

This Triangle Touches Many Lives
Five million adoptees live in the United States today. These adoptees were the sons or daughters of ten million birth parents and perhaps ten million adoptive parents. When you add grandparents to these numbers, you may have twenty million birth grandparents and twenty million adoptive grandparents. That ads up to sixty-five million people (or nearly 25% of all Americans) whose lives have been touched by the relationships formed through adoption. This creates a gift of love shared amongst many future
generations.

Knowing this, you may wonder what reasons led these birth parents to create adoption plans for their children. Although situations vary with birth parents, there are some very good reasons why they consider adoption as a solution to their pregnancy.

Why Adoption?
Some birth parents faced with an unplanned pregnancy choose adoption for their child because they believe in the sanctity of life and are opposed to abortion for moral or religious reasons.

Others realize that they are too young or feel they lack the maturity to be good parents right now. Many of them recognize the enormous responsibility of raising children and do not feel prepared to parent alone. Some fear they would be unable to spend enough quality time with their child or to adequately provide for both their needs, so they choose adoption.

Many birth parents intend to start a family later when they are better prepared. They feel that raising a child at this time would interrupt life plans such as college or a career which, they believe, would lessen their ability to provide well for their child.

Some may have had marriage plans that fell apart before their baby was born. Believing that children deserve two parents, they choose to create an adoption plan because they feel it will ensure the best possible start in life for their baby.

Adoption Later?
Sometimes a birth parent who initially decided to parent her child alone discovers real life situations are more demanding than she expected. Desiring better opportunities for her child, she later creates an adoption plan. Some come to this decision after realizing that they were too young to be a parent and feel unable to properly meet their child’s needs. Some birth parents may find they underestimated the physical or emotional demands of caring for both themselves and their child at the same time.

Still others realize that they became single parents because of other people’s expectations rather than as a result of their own desire.

Any of these reasons may convince a birth mother that creating an adoption plan is the best choice for her and her child’s future.

Married Couples Too?
Even some married couples come to the conclusion that adoption offers the best solution for unplanned pregnancies. In fact, an estimated six percent of all infant adoptions each year are created by married couples.

Like unmarried birth parents, these couples decide to create adoption plans for a variety of reasons. They, too, may not believe in abortion. They may feel too young to be parents or may feel unable to provide adequately for their child. If they already have other children, they may feel that another baby will stretch their resources past the breaking point.

Sometimes other extenuating circumstances compel married couples to create an adoption plan for their child. They may be facing an impending divorce or have other serious marital problems. Perhaps one or both of them have debilitating health or other personal problems, which may cause their child to be born into an unfavorable situation, so they too choose adoption.

Making Good Decisions
Although choices involving one’s unborn or newborn child are very difficult to make, an adoption plan is a positive and proactive solution to an unplanned pregnancy. Most birth mothers choosing adoption do so because they believe in the sanctity of life. They feel that adoption is the most loving, caring, responsible, and selfless choice they can make for their child’s future in light of their individual
circumstances.