Options Magazine » Adoption Articles

What’s Old & What’s New About Adoption?

Open, Semi-Open, and Closed Adoption

“Reunited With Parents After 30-Year Search...”

“Daughter Meets Mother for First Time at Own Marriage...”

Headlines like these, seen on tabloid TV news shows and in newspapers and magazines, remind us of the “closed” adoptions of the past where no information was allowed to pass between the birth mother and her child. For more than 75 years, these adoptions were considered the norm.

However, the adoption process now includes several new options that can provide a much more positive and rewarding experience for everyone involved.

More Options in Adoption?
Rather than the single choice of closed adoption that was offered in the past, today’s birth mothers can choose from three basic adoption methods: open, semi-open, or closed. All of these options are available with either an agency or a private adoption. The decision is hers to make, depending on which method is most comfortable for her.

Each of the three different adoption methods contains some variety in the openness achieved and the amount of information exchanged between the two parties. This variety is also partly dependent upon the policies of the agency or attorney handling the adoption plan.
If the birth mother’s understanding of her chosen method is in sync with the agency, attorney, or adoptive couple she has chosen, they can work together to structure, coordinate, and carry out the plan she wants. In cases where a compromise cannot be reached, the birth mother can locate another agency, attorney, or adoptive couple who shares her views.   Many women appreciate the freedom to choose one of these three adoption methods because it gives them the flexibility and control they desire over their situation.

Closed Adoptions
A closed adoption is best described as a plan in which the identities of both parties are kept confidential, with only limited information shared between the adoptive couple and the birth mother. Although closed adoption plans can be created through agencies or as private adoptions, they have primarily been used in traditional agency adoptions.

The information exchanged in a closed adoption is commonly referred to as non-identifying because it’s usually limited to the birth mother’s first name, age, state of residence, and medical history. The same information about the birth father may be shared if it is available. Information concerning the birth parent(s) is shared only between the adoptive couple, adoption agency, and/or attorneys involved.

Some agencies or attorneys facilitating a closed adoption also allow the following information about an adoptive couple to be shared with the birth mother: physical descriptions or photographs and a resume listing their first names, ages, state of residence, medical history, occupations, educations, religious preferences, and interests or hobbies. Full identifying information (last names, addresses, phone numbers, etc.) are not exchanged in a closed adoption because there will be no future contact between the two parties after the child has been placed. (If a birth mother meets or selects an adoptive couple, the plan is considered semi-open.)

Semi-Open Adoption
Today most adoption plans are semi-open where the birth mother typically plays an active role in selecting the couple who will adopt her child. Even so, as in a closed plan, her confidentiality and that of the adoptive couple are maintained.

Most likely she will select an adoptive couple with the ability to offer love and security for her child as well as good parenting skills. They may even resemble her physically and/or have similar religious values, hobbies, or interests. Her personal involvement provides comforting reassurance about her child’s lifestyle and future. (If she wishes, she can have her counselor or even the birth father, if he is involved, help her select an adoptive couple.)

If the birth mother desires, a face-to-face meeting can be arranged with the prospective adoptive couple where the same kind of non-identifying information can be exchanged between them as in the closed adoption plan.

In a semi-open adoption plan, communication in the form of photographs and letters can continue between the two parties for as long as they both agree. These are sent to the agency or attorney, who in turn forwards them to the other party, thus maintaining everyone’s confidentiality. This keeps the birth mother updated on her child’s progress and development and helps satisfy her maternal curiosity.
In short, a semi-open adoption plan makes it possible for the birth mother to play an active role in choosing adoptive parents for her child. It also permits her to meet them if she wishes and enables her to send and receive future communication about her child while still maintaining her confidentiality.

Open Adoptions
During the past few years the number of birth mothers who choose open adoption plans for their children has increased significantly. In fact, because of the increasing number of requests, most private and many agency adoptions are now conducted as either open or semi-open adoptions.

In open adoption, as in semi-open adoption, the birth mother plays an active role in selecting the adoptive parents for her child and may meet them if she wishes. The amount of control she has over the final selection process, however, will depend upon the policies of the agency or attorney involved.

The increased levels of openness that are available in open adoptions separate them from semi-open adoptions, making it possible for the birth mother to customize her plan according to her own needs.

The first level pertains to the identifying information shared between the birth mother and the adoptive couple. Here no limits are placed on the amount of identifying information that can be exchanged between the two parties ( full names, addresses, phone numbers, etc.).

The second level of openness deals with ongoing communication. The birth mother and adoptive couple may communicate directly with each other by phone and letters or in person. This direct contact allows them to learn everything they wish about each other without the aid of a third party.

In many open adoptions the birth mother and adoptive couple spend a considerable amount of time communicating throughout the pregnancy. Moreover, they may often continue to keep in touch with letters, photographs, or phone calls after the adoption is finalized and may even get together on an ongoing basis. This is left up to the parties based upon their mutual needs and desires.

Often the birth mother and adoptive couple become close friends because of the bonding that often occurs during the pregnancy. In fact, it is not uncommon for the birth mother to ask the adoptive couple to coach her during labor and delivery.

Open adoption might appeal to a birth mother if she wants to select and meet the couple adopting her child, yet does not require the confidentiality available in semi-open adoption. Many times, the plans flexibility and openness add comfort. Some birth mothers appreciate the opportunity for direct and ongoing communication with their adoptive couple and/or child throughout the course of their lives. And many birth mothers feel that the increase in the level of openness tends to bolster their knowledge that their child is safe, enjoys physical and emotional security, and is loved by the adoptive couple.

In an open adoption there are no real limitations involving communication or contact between the parties, as long as there is mutual agreement. However, as in any enduring friendship, increased levels of openness require mutual commitment, cooperation, understanding, and flexibility from everyone involved.

Benefits of Openness
Many professionals believe that open adoption is a positive development for the children involved. Removing the sense of mystery validates the adoption experience for the child. The child understands that they are adopted and knows their birth mother’s whereabouts and identity, making a future search for her unnecessary.

In addition, the ongoing communication available in open and semi-open adoptions provides the adoptive parents and their child an avenue to receive ongoing medical information regarding the birth parent and extended family members. This is particularly important in cases where genetic illnesses occur in adopted children or if birth parents later develop hereditary diseases.

Research has shown that children of open adoptions are not confused by the openness that exists between their birth mother and adoptive parents. They can easily differentiate between these relationships, just as they do between those of their parents and grandparents. Children can also receive a deep sense of comfort and inner security knowing of their birth mother’s genuine concern for their happiness and well being.

Things to Remember
Every birth mother who creates an open or semi-open adoption plan should understand that both parties must agree on the level of ongoing communication. If this agreement is not reached during the pregnancy, it must be absolutely clear before placing the child with the adoptive couple.

Sometimes the agreement is put in writing but may also be entered into as an oral “gentlemen’s agreement.” Although these agreements are not considered enforceable by either party in a court of law, in most cases the parties uphold them.

The variety of openness available in today’s plans may appeal to many birth mothers, but it is important to understand that adoption is not a form of foster care nor a form of co-parenting. It is a legal process entered into by the birth parent(s) who permanently transfer their parental rights to the adoptive couple. Such a transfer is generally considered irrevocable once the adoption paperwork is signed or has been finalized.

A birth mother who chooses to create an adoption plan for her child does so lovingly and selflessly for the long-term benefit of her child. However, before making a final decision about adoption, it is vitally important for her to receive adequate counseling. Her questions should be answered and her concerns addressed in a manner satisfactory to her. Ultimately, the decision should be based on her own feelings and not a response to pressure from others.

In Closing...
Each year tens of thousands of adoption plans are created by birth mothers for their children. While some are the closed variety, most involve a level of openness found in semi-open or open adoptions. This is a trend that has become more and more common during the last decade, and most professionals predict that it will continue in the future.

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