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The Pros and Cons of Adoption

An Overall Perspective

There are pros and cons to every decision in life. When weighing solutions to an unplanned pregnancy, consider these important points:

Trying Times
Mood swings will be normal. Emotions surrounding an adoption plan can be as varied as the colors in a rainbow, ranging from pride and joy to loss or sadness. Hormonal changes during pregnancy and after birth also play a big part in the birth mother’s emotional state. Because all these emotions are normal and natural, a birth mother can expect to experience some major emotional highs and lows over the course of her pregnancy and for a short time afterward. Counseling is an important way to deal with these feelings. A good counselor will help her arrive at a decision on her own rather than from outside pressures.

Birthdays and holidays can be especially difficult for a birth mother, who may experience sadness at these times. During the first year after the child’s birth, she may find counseling helpful before these special occasions. A counselor can help her cope with her emotions and remind her that her decision was the best at the time for her and her child’s future.

The legal process involved in adoption can sometimes be viewed by the birth mother as emotionally challenging and procedurally complicated. However, any stress surrounding this experience can be greatly reduced by a caring and compassionate counselor.

Inconvenience, discomfort, and embarrassment of an unplanned pregnancy are additional feelings which may accompany a woman who elects to complete her pregnancy. Peer pressure and family influences can push the birth mother in different directions, not necessarily according to her preferences or best interests. Again, an unbiased counselor will help her develop a plan that reflects her real desires, free from outside influences.

Finally, there is no turning back once the adoption is completed. A birth mother must acknowledge to herself that her plan was created as a permanent solution after careful deliberation and soul searching. If a birth mother secretly hopes that her life may change in the future, enabling her to support and raise her child, she should reconsider her available options before proceeding with an adoption plan.

A birth mother who is facing a decision like this will need to review her available options and select the option she feels best fits her personal circumstances. Most birth mothers who choose adoption feel that the long-term benefits outweigh any challenges they face. They also realize that the other alternatives—single parenting, abortion, or marriage—present their own significant challenges.

Clear Advantages
Completing her pregnancy allows the birth mother to make a commitment to her appreciation for life and the sanctity of the child developing within her.

Selection of the adoptive parents allows the birth mother to know where and by whom her child will be raised. Also, she is further assured that her chosen couple will provide a safe, nurturing environment and a life filled with love, happiness, and opportunity.

Open or semi-open adoption allows the birth mother ongoing communication with her child, so she can follow the progress and development throughout his or her life.

Medical care before and after delivery for both mother and child as well as assistance with her living expenses is an important benefit of adoption that relieves financial anxiety.

The joy and gratitude of her chosen adoptive couple add a dimension of satisfaction and comfort for many birth mothers. She can recognize how her decision enables them to create the family they deeply desired.

Ensuring a better future for her child is the reason a birth mother creates an adoption plan. By placing her child’s needs ahead of her own, she makes a loving, responsible and courageous decision and provides an opportunity for her child to lead a rich and rewarding life. She also affords herself the opportunity to proceed with her plans and later will be able to raise a family when she is truly ready.

“Peer pressure and family influences can push the birth mother in different directions.”

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