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Getting a Head Start

Beginning the Adoption Process with a Plan

If you are thinking about choosing adoption as a solution to your pregnancy, it is important that you begin by creating a plan that will help you see the adoption process through to completion. We suggest that you read all of the articles contained within Options Magazine’s adoption section before you make your final decision. Then, refer to this outline as you create an adoption plan.

Planning Your Adoption

1. First, get counseling from a qualified counselor who is knowledgeable about adoption, as well as each of your other options. You should like this person enough to feel comfortable asking questions about adoption, abortion, marriage, and single parenting.

2. You will also want to discuss a back-up plan with your counselor in case you change your mind.

3. Finalize your decision to create an adoption plan for your child. If you decide against adoption, for whatever reason, choose another option.

4. Remember that whatever choice you make must be your own decision and not the decision of others. Owning your decision will allow you to feel comfortable about your choice over the long term.

5. Try to keep in mind that none of your options is without some sadness or loss, but one option will best suit your needs according to your individual circumstances.

6. Next, you will need to determine the level of openness you desire and any other preferences you may have in regard to your adoption plan, as well as how you think you might want to conduct your hospital experience. Discuss your preferences with the other parties involved.

7. Then you will need to decide whether you want to conduct your adoption plan as an agency or private adoption.

8. After taking these steps you will need to locate, interview, and choose an agency, adoptive couple or private adoption attorney with whom you would like to work, depending on the type of adoption plan you have chosen to create.

9. Next, talk with the attorney, agency, or adoptive couple about the medical, legal, counseling and living expenses you will incur over the course of your pregnancy and delivery. Ask which of these expenses they will be able to cover for you or how they may otherwise be able to help you with these.

(Remember, of course, that each state has very specific laws stipulating the type and amount of expenses an agency or adoptive couple may cover for a birth mother.)

What Else Must I Do?
If you have not yet begun to receive prenatal care, you will need to discuss this with the party you have chosen to work with so they can assist you. They will want to help you acquire this medical care as soon as possible, so that both you and your child will be assured a safe and healthy pregnancy and birth.

If you have not finished your education yet, now is the time to talk with your counselor, agency, adoptive couple or attorney about ways you can continue your schooling over the course of your pregnancy.

After having decided to create an adoption plan for your child and having chosen an agency, adoptive couple or private adoption attorney to work with, you can relax. When it comes to the legalities of the adoption process and what one needs to do to complete her adoption plan, the attorney working with the party you have chosen will guide both you and your adoptive couple through each step of the process, explaining it and answering any questions you may have along the way.

Of course, throughout your pregnancy you will need to make sure that you attend each of your prenatal appointments with your doctor, as well as whatever counseling sessions you wish to receive over the course of the adoption process. If transportation to or from these appointments becomes a problem for you, be sure to bring this up with the party you are working with so they can help you arrange transportation.

If you are interested in attending a birth mother support group, make your desire known to your counselor, agency, adoptive couple or private adoption attorney, and ask them to help you find a group in your area.

Lastly, remember that in choosing to create an adoption plan for your child you have made a very courageous, loving and selfless decision. You will form a relationship with the adoptive couple you have chosen, much as in a marriage, where two families join together. Be sure to always leave your adoption plan somewhat flexible, with room for the unexpected, so that it can accommodate each party’s needs over time.

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