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True Stories of Marriage

The True Story of Why Melinda Chose Marriage

My Boyfriend Had to Ask My Father’s Permission

Melinda is 19 and has been married now for two-and-a-half years, but was 17 when she got pregnant. Her boyfriend had wanted to marry her after she graduated from high school, but pregnancy changed their plans.

I was only 17 when I got pregnant, and I knew I had to solve my problem somehow. I don’t believe in abortion, so it wasn’t an option for me. And while I strongly considered placing my baby for adoption, I just couldn’t do it. The only two choices left were marriage and single parenting.

My parents, of course, encouraged single parenting. I’m sure they thought I was much too young to get married. In fact, they said that if I decided on single parenting, they’d pay for everything and help me with the baby so that I could finish high school. Finishing school was one thing I knew would be a real challenge.

Despite my parents’ wishes, my boyfriend and I decided that marriage was better for us. In fact, he had said he wanted to get married even before finding out that I was pregnant. Of course, I guess he felt a little more ready for marriage than I did at the time, because he was four years older than I was. He had already graduated from high school, and he had a good job working for his father doing construction.

Now the only tough thing would be to get my parents to consent and let me marry him; I was not legally old enough to get married. My boyfriend, Jake, decided he would be the one to talk to my dad about it and ask for my hand in marriage—he wanted to take full responsibility for his part in this whole thing, he told my dad. And my dad said, “Anyone that’s man enough to face a girl’s father is man enough to marry her.” So they ended up letting us get married, and we were both very relieved.

Now I am nineteen and pregnant with my second child. Jake and I have our own home, and we’re doing quite well financially. I consider myself one of those lucky few who get married really young and actually end up making it. It wasn’t easy in the beginning, though. There were times when I just wanted to throw in the towel on the marriage. Even to this day, Jake does things that really annoy me: He throws his dirty clothes and socks on the floor, for example. That drives me crazy! But anyway, we seem to have made it this far.

I guess I attribute our staying together so long partly to the fact that we haven’t had too much stress about money in our marriage, and partly to the fact that we really care about each other and are good friends. If marriage is an option you’re considering, you’ll want to think seriously about whether or not you can support yourselves, because it sure makes things easier between the two of you when you have a decent salary to live on. Also, it’s important to be good friends, because once all the newness of marriage wears off, the friendship really counts.