Options Magazine » Single Parenting Articles

Straight Talk About Parenting

Single parenting is an option every woman in your situation considers. So, take a good look at single parenting, as you should with each of the options presented in this magazine. Weigh the pros and cons carefully, because single parenting is a big responsibility. This article examines some of the challenges and rewards that come with single parenting. There are an abundance of both in every mother’s life.

Important Considerations
Single parenting is not a decision you can change your mind about later. It is not a part-time job that you can work at when you feel like putting in the hours and take a vacation or quit when you tire of it. Single parenting is a job that lasts twenty four hours a day for the next eighteen years of your life, so you need to be sure about your commitment to it.

What can you expect as a single parent? On the one hand, you can expect your child to love you unconditionally, and that exchange of love between you and your child can be very satisfying. You will probably be amazed that such a tiny person can learn and grow so rapidly. You will marvel at their undaunted exploration of the world. As you bond with them, you will find that each new thing they do such as crawling, sitting up, taking their first steps and saying their first words feels like a great accomplishment for both of you.

On the other hand, the time and energy you will need to give in order to meet their needs will probably be much greater than you had expected. Your freedom becomes restricted from the moment of your baby’s birth and for several years afterward. Until they enter school, you must plan to take them with you wherever you go, unless you get a sitter. When they get sick, you will need to care for them yourself, and that will mean taking them to the doctor and paying those bills. It may mean you will miss work, losing much-needed wages. Other times you will find yourself staying home when you would rather go out. Spending late nights up with them will not be uncommon at first: feedings at two a.m., changing diapers, or just trying to get the baby back to sleep. After a few months, they may adjust to a more normal schedule that will allow you to better sleep at night.

As your child grows, they will need you in different ways to tend, nurture and teach. You will need maturity and patience for these tasks. Over time, the romance you may have associated with cuddling a “baby doll” will give way to the reality of the tiny person for whose future and welfare you alone are responsible. You will quickly find before you a human being who, like yourself, is destined to progress through each stage of childhood.

Parenting Perks
Successfully meeting the challenges of single parenting can result in experiences many refer to as “character building.” As a result of building character, often your self-esteem improves. The self confidence you may gain from single parenting experiences can help you deal with future trials in your life more successfully.

What Single Parents Say
Single parents surveyed offered the following thoughts about their experiences:

“I think it boils down to one thing—sacrifice.”
“It’s hard being the mom and dad, cooking, cleaning,
taking care of the baby, and earning a living, too.”
“I love my baby. It isn’t easy, but it’s what I wanted.”
“I’m always tired and there’s no more time for me—it’s hard work.”
“I’ve learned a lot from this. It depends on your viewpoint—if you see it as good, it can be.”

Before you decide to single parent, seek counseling. Think seriously about it. Then if you choose to parent your child, your eyes will be wide open as to the ups and downs, the good and the bad. Most important, you will understand the level of commitment and dedication you will need to become a loving single parent.

“Successfully meeting the challenges of single parenting can result in experiences many refer to as ‘character building.’”