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I Felt It Was Right For Me

True Stories of Single Parenting
The Story of Kris

Kris is a 22-year-old single parent with a one-year-old son. Choosing between single parenting and adoption was difficult for her, especially since she was adopted.

I’m in my early twenties, and I have decided that I want to be a single parent. Don’t get me wrong, I have thought about other choices. I have strongly considered adoption, partially because I was adopted and because there are all these couples out there who want babies. I also considered adoption for selfish reasons. I thought, “Well, if I choose adoption, I won’t have to worry about buying this or buying that, and I can go to school.” But those weren’t the right reasons for me to choose adoption.

I think if you choose adoption, you should choose it because you’re really not ready (for parenthood). Marriage also wasn’t really something I wanted to do at the time. And I think one of the biggest mistakes a girl can make is to keep the baby to keep the guy. What if the guy decides to take off? That situation just doesn’t work.

Anyway, even though other choices were available, I decided on single parenting. I knew I was ready to be a mother. But then again, I think my choice had a lot to do with my age, because I see these 15 or 16 year-old girls, and they’re miserable. You’re probably wondering how I would know something like that. Well, I work in a doctor’s office and I see a lot of pregnant girls.

That was one smart thing I did after finding out I was pregnant. I thought, “Here I have this child. I’ve got to do something and I’ve got to do it fast.” So I went through an eight-month course to become a medical assistant, and now I have a decent paying job, or at least I thought it was okay. Now I feel like eleven dollars an hour is great for someone who is single and lives at home, but for someone like me who has $4,000 in student loans and a baby to take care of, it’s not too great.

In fact, you wouldn’t believe all of the expenses that are involved. First you start with hospital bills, and if you don’t have insurance or if you have some kind of complication like a caesarean section, those bills can be up to ten thousand dollars or more. Then there are things like a crib, diapers, clothes, blankets, bottles, formula, and a million other things you have to buy. You’re probably thinking, “Oh, but a sweet little baby is worth any cost.” Don’t necessarily count on it. Not everyone gets a perfectly content baby. Mine was colicky, and he screamed for the entire first month of his life. Let me tell you, that wasn’t easy!

I’m not meaning to make this all sound like a bunch of gloom and doom—parenting does have its good points. It’s just an incredible amount of responsibility. My life would be a whole lot easier now if I hadn’t kept my son, but it wouldn’t be nearly so rich or fulfilling. To watch him grow and see him learn is truly a wonderful experience.

I felt single parenting was the best choice for me. But you do need to stop and think that if you decide to keep that baby, you’re committing at least the next 18 years of your life to that child.

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