Options Magazine » Single Parenting Articles

Some Quiet Time to Myself

The Story of Stacy

Stacy is a 22-year-old single parent with a fifteen month-old son. She had some complications before delivering her baby and spent about ten days in the hospital. Those days alone gave her time to think and make the decision to be a single parent.

Why did I choose single parenting? The circumstances I was in at the time were not ones that made it good for me to get married. I knew that both my baby and I would be better off without his father around, because our relationship was not a healthy one. I do want to get married eventually, though, and have more kids. And some other choices available just weren’t right for me. Abortion wasn’t an option. People just don’t realize what that does to a person physically, spiritually, and emotionally. While adoption is a good option, it was just not a choice I wanted to make partly because I was older when I had my child. Being in my twenties, I thought I had some experience and I could handle the responsibility. I just felt like I wanted to keep my baby a part of me and my family.

One of the hardest things about going through a crisis pregnancy was deciding how I was going to find a solution to my problem. Making decisions has always been hard for me, and this situation forced me into making big decisions on my own. You really just need time to yourself to think everything out. It takes time to make a decision, and you should always fall back on your principles and values if you are confused. Also, if any decision is important, it does not need a rushed answer—don’t give in to pressure from others to decide quickly or to make the decision that they want you to make. Just take your time and think seriously about what you really want to do. That’s what I did. I had toxemia and was in the hospital for about ten days. No one could come in the room unless I wanted them in there. The only way I was able to deal with it and make a decision was to have some quiet time to myself.

I must admit, single parenting is not an easy task. Some things are really hard. Like having to get up at a certain time and knowing that no matter what you do you can never sleep in. Also, when you have someone who is constantly dependent on you every minute of the day—you don’t get a break without a husband to help take care of the baby. And on the flip side of that, when things are really great, there’s not always someone around to share it with. There’s no one with you to watch your baby take his first steps, that kind of thing.
There are good things about it, too. Everything is new to my baby. I am amazed at the joy and happiness he gets out of just the littlest things. Give him a spoon and he’s happy; he’ll start laughing. It’s also nice to have someone who loves you as unconditionally as a child does.

I could go on forever about the ups and downs of single parenting—some days it’s a walk in the park, other days it seems like nothing could be worse. But one thing I do know is that being a single parent was the choice that I really wanted to make. I am glad I decided to go with my instincts and make the choice that was best for us, rather than the choice that was best for everyone else.